So I went to the beaches in Rosario and never before in my life have I seen so many ass cheeks staring at me from near and far, young and old.. I felt dizzy with butt bums. Then Rosalia says to me, Jessica, how can you wear those diapers that people wear to the beaches in the states, I’m taking you to buy a new bikini. Oh boy.
Not only do I not show my legs on the beach for weeks usually (because im so white) but I hells of don’t show my ass.
So after a few hours shopping I finally go home with my new bathing suit. No, it is not a thong. That will never happen. Its just a slight improvement on what I have worn in the past.
I am so excited to wear this bathing suit and the very next morning we go to the beach while everyone is at work. It was a Friday and we lay out for only about an hour and a half with breaks for swimming in between.
We finally get back to the apartment around 4 PM to loads of emails, skype missed calls and facebook messages waiting for me from all of my family members. My grandpa passed away. Immediately my plans change and I must look for a ticket back to the states for the very next day since the funeral is on Sunday.
2 problems. Flights leave from Buenos Aires, I am in Rosario and over the 2 hours that im talking with my family and making arrangements, the burn slowly starts to set in. I’m sitting and chatting and looking up flights and making plans to get to Buenos Aires when all of a sudden I start to squirm in my seat and then immediately jump from the chair in pain. I run to the mirror in Rosalia’s apartment to find that my ass turned purple in the matter of minutes. I am completely reddish purple from the back of my knees to my butt and onward and upward to my shoulders. So reddish purple that even just looking at it I start to panick, not to mention the feel of it. Rosalia rushes me to the pharmacy where I get 3 tubes of “After sun” cream and then I lay on my stomach and groan for the next 12 hours until I have to leave the next morning for BsAs. The shit part, I have 4 hours to BsAs, 2 hours to the airport, 8.5 hours on a plane, rest for a day and do the whole trip return and I CANNOT SIT DOWN. (I will not talk about my gramps funeral here). So for 24 hours straight I cant stay in one position for too long without having to adjust, itch, pull, tear and every 2 hours I have to run to the bathroom to put more cream on me which then sticks to my clothes and makes me slide and.. ugh.. so uncomfortable.
Lets go back a minute. I take an 8:30 bus to BsAs. Beto is waiting for me when I arrive (yes, we re-united in Rosario.. coming to this). We take my bags to a friend of Rosalia’s so I do not have to bring anything with me to Florida for 2 days except a backpack. This friend, Ongie, then joins us for the whole afternoon while we walk around and eat. Beto and I then grab some ice cream and get on a 2 hour bus to the airport. On this bus ride we talk. We talk a lot. He basically shares with me that he loves me and wants to be with me and have a family but he is so afraid that I will pick up and leave one day. I try to explain to him that I understand his position BUT even if he married the girl next door who never left her village, she too can pick up and leave one day. My traveling has nothing to do with looking for men (unless im single, jeje, then it doesn’t hurt!) but it gives me strength, it gives me an eye into another persons world and therefore help me to open my mind and see things from different perspectives which.. blah blah blah, you get the picture. He then asks me what im doing after carnaval and I tell him im not sure (this was before the next part…) and he asks me if I will come back to Lima. I tell him I do not know. He knows I met someone else and this person may be coming to see me and if things go well, I may want to pursue it. But I also tell him that I cannot come until he is settled with a job and a home. He has neither now and im not going to struggle while he gets to sit in his grandmothers home doing nothing being all taken care of. If he can show me that he is working towards getting a job and making a living and can afford a place to stay, then and only then I may come back. But this again is only if I still feel connected with him. And then I told him that he hurt me (yes I know.. I left him first, but then I called him and asked him to come meet me or if I can go back and he said no) and that now.. I don’t know if I ever can come back, I do not trust him. Mostly because he does not trust me and he will always question my decisions. He understood that he may have fucked up and lost me. And I tell him its most likely so but things always change. And he hugged me and told me that he knew he was in love with me when he was watching me speak to Ongie. And for me, this is love. When someone is watching you from a distance and you do not know they are watching you and you are being completely yourself and they are just breathing you in… but for me, I do not know if I can ever love him again. Its sad. Especially since my emotions were SO strong at the beginning of the year. But maybe that’s why I pulled away so quickly and so fast. I also believe things happen for a reason. And they happened this way so I can recognize that we are not meant for one another, no matter how amazing and wonderful he is.
Ok, so.. BsAs-Miami-Fort Lauderdale-Miami-BsAs. Im back….
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