One of my favorite words used repetitively by Goenkaji. Anitcha, Anitcha Anitcha. Change, Change, Change. His message is that all things change. And, our work/ practice is to remain equanimous thought this process of change because this will change too. And well, im no Buddha, so remaining equanimous isn’t really my thing.
Today, after 2 days of misery, I felt a bit better and I fell in love with Cartagena. Susan helped, of course. She told me that my being with Beto was not about Beto. It was about seeing Beto as a reflection of how much I have grown. I am now with a man that is a certain way because I am able to accept this and have this in my life. And, now that I have changed, many more men, who are more right for me than those I was with in the past, will come into my life. But, since I have now made this transition, I cannot go back and the next man will also reflect this change. Is this true? I don’t know, but it helped! It helped me to not worry about whether or not I will be or wont be with Beto. Of course I still have that little pitchfork in between my rib cage, but not so much worry anymore. It also helped that I got hit on by 2 guys today. Hey, I still have an ego! It didn’t go away for good and it likes to be fed!
Oh yeah, and I went swimming, no no.. scratch that.. I plopped and got stuck in the mud of a 200 year old volcano and then had my bathing suit removed by a local woman who scrubbed me clean in a lake afterwards. AWESOME! I LOVE Colombia!!
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